Year of the Snake

*Alternate title: I love you too Jenny!!!*

Ok, I know according to the Chinese zodiac it's actually year of the horse. Last year however, was year of the snake. That was supposed to be MY year. (Apparently, even though it's one of the only phobias I have, I am a snake.)

I was a wee bit disappointed to find out that was not the case. 2013? Don't let the door hit you on the way out. I forgot something though. Snakes need to shed their skin. Native Americans believe this is associated with rebirth. 

So here we are, and I'm fairly certain that this time, it's Year of the Margaux. The past few years have not been easy, but y'all have been on that journey with me. And here we are. I'm almost done my program at school. I have the best friends anyone could ever ask for. Last night, I was home sick, and my friend who works at the bar downstairs actually came upstairs and brought me the dinner he made for me. I have plans to meet up with my ex's mom on the weekend so she can bring me the legwarmers she knitted for me before she goes on vacation. The way the weather has been in Toronto, we all could use a pair of those. 

I was Skype-ing with my secret life friend tonight, I talked to two of my girlfriends/sisters I've had my entire life who also decided to leave the j-dubs. We just get each other in a way no one else does. My mom and sister have decided to let me back in, so in whatever capacity it is, I pretty much have a whole family again. 

The best part? This has all come about in spite of the fact that I decided to stay true to myself. This is one of the most difficult things for all of us to do, and a lot of us get part way down that road less traveled and give up because it's too dark, too difficult. Don't do that. The light at the end makes it worth the journey. Right now, I'm not lying, I'm the happiest version of myself that I ever would have dreamed was possible. 

I'm grateful for my job, where I live, all the ex-boyfriends who know my psycho story and still make time to be my friend, even if they have new girlfriends. I've been working a bit harder on my writing aspirations, and then this happened:

 

You may or may not know who she is, but Jenny Lawson is who I want to be when I grow up. I'm pretty honest on here, but she's even more honest than me and I envy how much she gets away with saying "fuck". She's a blogger, turned best selling author, millions of people read her every month. And she's following ME on twitter. My other writing related side project hasn't even been in print yet but I'm on my way, I can feel it.

Sometimes it feels like life just keeps kicking the shit out of you, over and over again, and it will never end. When that happens, and you want to give up so, so badly, you pretty much have no choice other than to channel Bruce Willis in Die Hard and find some kind of fun in somehow, someway, making things better. Yippee Ki-Yay! 

I think I've shed my skin. Welcome to the future. It looks bright.

Sullivan out.