I've got this friend...

Click me. 

One more JW post and I will stop I swear. I will talk about silly things like dating and lipgloss for the foreseeable future. Just give me this one. 

This past weekend has been an experiment. The ex-jw meetup group, the ex-jw group on Reddit.com. The reason I've stayed away from these groups in the past is that I have absolutely no interest in sitting around, complaining about the past and feeling sorry for myself. Or worse yet, spewing negativity into the Universe. 

The group on Saturday was cool, but we're Canadian and I think we are more hardwired to be nice, polite, respectful. We were able to talk about our experiences, friends we had in common, and laugh about fun times we had in the past growing up JW. I think a big part of that was this group I was with, for the most part, has moved on. 

That internet group on the other hand (mostly Americans) while I'm sure some of them are very nice, doesn't seem to have let go of the past. They are posting comments about the most recent WT article (why would you still read that? It was chore when we HAD to read it!), the governing body, the meetings...I understand if they need an outlet for their pain but keeping up with the current state of affairs of the JWs? Who cares?

Also, apparently I am a terrible traitor for getting reinstated. Which I think is slightly hypocritical because I know most of them are "faders". So I'm being judged for my life choices by a bunch of people who have never even been in my situation. I really don't think it makes me less supportive of the cause to do something that will actively better my family's situation. 

Dear ex-jw's of the world: I am on your side. I feel your pain. I'm not "living a lie" I don't go to meetings or pretend to live by their standards.  Yet this is the kind of feedback I was getting:

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post:
This must be one of the shittiest blogs I've ever read in my life, written by a shallow, whinging, attention seeking charlatan who instead of standing up for what is right and having some dignity and self respect, chose to live a lie to appease those who wouldn't think twice about never speaking to her again at the behest of a cult. 

Dear Anonymous, 

If you'd like to post comments on my blog, please use spell-check. It's a pet peeve of mine. 

Love, 
A shallow, whining, attention seeking charlatan. :)

PS: By the way, you might also want to try a dictionary. A charlatan by definition is someone who uses a form of deception to get what they want. I'm honest. I tell the truth when it's hard, when it's embarrassing, when it's not even something I want to hear. 

My bestie came over tonight. We can sit and talk about anything and if we're really feeling really, really evil, smoke a cigarette, drink some wine...complain about our complaints, dance in the living room...there was a time I wanted nothing more in the world than a community of people like me, who understood and could relate to where I was coming from. 

It's obvious now though, I don't belong with the JWs. I don't belong with the ex-JWs. I'm a Freebird it seems. Sometimes I feel disappointed that my friends don't always completely get me. But they love me. Just the way I am with all the baggage. If my own people can't do that...I'm better off without you.