The Truth

Y'all know I have a song for this one.

JW Beginner Class 101: They call it "the truth". Because it is the one and only true way to live, to please God, to attain everlasting life. Anyone who chooses to believe differently? Enjoy Armageddon. 

This used to bother me, yes. Now, not so much. It seems that time really does heal all wounds. That "this too shall pass". All of those cliches...are cliches for a reason.

I asked my therapist psychic about my uncle last time I was there. I wanted to know if he was ok. She told me not to worry, he's passed over. It appears, so have I. 

One of my friends kept telling me I should just post my blog on Reddit.com - the internet sensation. I ignored him (although acknowledging that quite a few of the guys I know are obsessed with that site) for about a year, until late, late last night/early this morning I decided to give it a try. This is what happened:

734 hits in one day? Seriously? Why didn't someone tell me about this sooner? (Alright they did. I just didn't listen.) #goingviral

The problem with being an internet sensation today is the haters. Someone posted this:

Purposefully having yourself reinstated into an organisation that advocates the death of minors if they require certain medical procedures, tears apart families, denigrates scientific endeavour, lies to adherents and exerts draconian influence on all aspects of life. I have to wonder if you can be morally and ethically serious and post that on this forum. Your actions have vindicated the WTS shunning policy, so they have further grounds to do it to others.

Hmm. I'm used to getting hate posts from the JWs, but girl, you and I are on the same side. Yes, I got myself reinstated. Before I did I changed my phone number and email address. I never went back to my old friends (they were pissed). I walked away because, like you, I don't agree with many of the teachings and actions of the WTBS. I know, first hand, how they tear families apart. I lived it: first my parents, then my marriage. All casualties of the JW belief system. I understand why you're angry about the reach of their control over people's private lives. I get angry too sometimes still. But then I sit down, read some of the pages I have flagged in "The Wise Heart" and try to ground myself back into compassion, forgiveness, love.

I could have stayed disfellowshipped out of spite, to make some kind of statement, but I understand the people we left behind there. Most of them will never be capable of seeing life in any other way. And according to their belief system, to please God, to achieve everlasting life, they need to shun me if I have that title. My mother has a terminal disease. My sister is sick as well. What do I, or my family, gain by me staying disfellowshipped as a matter of principle, and cutting myself off from being part of this family that needs, wants and deserves my support during difficult times?

There's this meetup group in Toronto of ex-JWs. I've been meaning to go, I just never seem to get around to it. Last time they had an event, it ended up being the same day I put my Cat down. When I told Lindsay, the first thing she said was "Man, you will do ANYthing to get out of going to that meetup group."

Today, there was a lunch. I had responded "Yes". This morning, I got up and didn't know what to do. I responded again, "No". My friends were trying to be supportive. Her: "Just have a glass of wine, suck it up and go." (It was 10 am.) Him: (whispering) "Go to your people...with great power comes great responsibility...brains..." (Apparently ex-jdubs are also zombies.)

So I went. And I'm glad I did. I had never met any of them before, but I'm pretty sure with the amount of experience I have I could walk into any restaurant in the city and pick out the table of JWs - ex or not. 

It was nice. These really are my people, even this random group of strangers. We all grew up the same way. We speak the same language. (I'm not kidding, JWs really do have their own lingo. You wouldn't understand.) We've experienced the same pain in leaving, the same sadness over losing friends and family, the same stress for our aging parents who don't take the future seriously financially because the "new system" is coming any minute now. We talked about how even though some of them completely shun some of us, we're worried we'll have to support them when they get old. 

We talked about how they absolutely refuse to believe we are happy. And then we talked about how happy we really are. :)

My advice to my unknown friend who posted the comment above? We can't change them. In my own way, I've been trying to change things, to be honest, to educate and support others. But when it comes to our families, anger, hate and resentment are not the answer. This journey we're on is one of peaks and valleys, one step forward, two steps back. Make peace with the journey, with the things you can't change. I may be one of Jehovah's Witnesses on paper, but everyone who knows me, and thousands of people who read my blog and don't know me, know where I stand. What's the use of winning a war if at the end of it, all that remains are casualties? Fight smart.