Start to Start

Somehow I didn't end up in school this term. I signed up for a course, sure, but it seems not enough other people did and they cancelled it at the last minute. By the time I figured out another course to take (I only have 2 left) and got that approved at work, it was full. I guess all the other cancelled people decided to take that one too. 

So I decided to make use of this next few months that I'm on hiatus, and start working on my book on those evenings I'd usually be in class or doing homework. You may or may not know this, but I've got half a book written already. Haven't touched it in a couple of years, I could barely find the file on my computer. I was sure it was very bad. I pulled it out tonight, and I was more than right. Not sure if any of it can be salvaged. I can't decide what would be more appropriate: should I throw my laptop out the window or print it off and burn it? 

It's extremely depressing and most of it focuses on that one guy I was so in love with it almost killed me. Which is not an accurate depiction of my entire life story since he wasn't really around all that long. 

I suppose I should just start over, but this is what I imagine (click me!) it is going to feel like going back to it. 

It seems like a daunting task, starting over, so I ignored it for the past couple of years and spent that time starting over in life instead. Or reading other people's books. I have two bookcases overflowing, yet this is what my coffee table looks like:

And yes, I have read all of them, most of them more than once or twice. Apparently people can do this whole "write a real book" thing. I was doing really well at it (in terms of actually writing it, not writing it well) when I got to the half way through point and gave up. Then I started writing this blog. It is so much easier! Writing a blog vs. writing a book is like the difference between morning sex and actually making love. It's quick n' dirty, yet still quite satisfying enough. 

My boss, Jersey Shore is the quick n' dirty type. (Just to clarify, I'm talking about work now, not sex.) He's probably the most ambitious man I've ever met and working closely with him is both inspiring and terrifying. Every time we start some new, daunting project he says: We need to start to start. It's never perfect the first time around, but if we don't start...we'll never reach the finish line either. 

Here's what's going to happen: I'm going to post this blog. Then I'm going to start Chapter 1 all over again from the beginning and stick with that commitment to work on it every week, just like I would if I was writing papers and doing assignments at school. Wish me luck.