Happiness Is...

So this week is Mental Health Week in Canada. I've been struggling with what to say. It seems that this week everyone is talking about Mental Health. Writers, actors, comedians, news anchors...the list goes on. We had an event at my workplace where a panel of brave people got up in front of a crowd and told their stories about dealing with anxiety and depression. 

And everyone gets on the bandwagon. I guess the most important thing I'd like to say is I feel it's so critical to keep the momentum going. Keep the conversation alive. Keep up the the caring and support that you've all been showing during this week. There's still a huge stigma that needs to be ended. 

Even if you're not one of the one in four people that will experience this personally during your lifetime, we all know that "happiness" can be a trap. We may feel that we all deserve to be happy all the time. And we probably do. But that's just not realistic in the world we live in. Whether you do presently or have suffered from depression in the past yourself, none of us are always happy. 

Mental health issues though go deeper than the occasional let down, disappointment or bad day. It's the same as any physical health challenges that someone may face. There might be good days and bad days. You might go into "remission" and be fine for weeks or months or years. And then it comes back. It might be something a person fights every single day. 

Some people do well with therapy. Medication may work for someone else. Perhaps a combination of both is useful for others. There's no "one" solution we can push on someone to "fix" them. Like a physical ailment or limitation, this may be a health issue that a person must care for on an ongoing basis for the rest of their life. 

It doesn't mean we can't be good friends, great co-workers, supportive family members. Never assume it's because we aren't trying either. Some of the bravest, funniest people I've met who've shared their stories are working extremely hard to find calmness and contentment in their lives. 

One of the biggest contributing factors to living with a mental health condition and finding your "happiness" is having a supportive network. So if you know someone living with this, just remember that. If you are living with mental health issues, accept the support. :)

I have been more than blessed, especially recently, with a network of family, work and friends who have made the past little while so much easier and happier for me. 

If you want to read a writer who is not only brutally honest about her battle but hilariously funny try Jenny Lawson: http://thebloggess.com/. Her latest book is entitled: Furiously Happy: A funny book about horrible things. She can make you happy even if you're crying.

And it never hurts to hug a puppy. :)

Sullivan out. 

Year of the Snake

*Alternate title: I love you too Jenny!!!*

Ok, I know according to the Chinese zodiac it's actually year of the horse. Last year however, was year of the snake. That was supposed to be MY year. (Apparently, even though it's one of the only phobias I have, I am a snake.)

I was a wee bit disappointed to find out that was not the case. 2013? Don't let the door hit you on the way out. I forgot something though. Snakes need to shed their skin. Native Americans believe this is associated with rebirth. 

So here we are, and I'm fairly certain that this time, it's Year of the Margaux. The past few years have not been easy, but y'all have been on that journey with me. And here we are. I'm almost done my program at school. I have the best friends anyone could ever ask for. Last night, I was home sick, and my friend who works at the bar downstairs actually came upstairs and brought me the dinner he made for me. I have plans to meet up with my ex's mom on the weekend so she can bring me the legwarmers she knitted for me before she goes on vacation. The way the weather has been in Toronto, we all could use a pair of those. 

I was Skype-ing with my secret life friend tonight, I talked to two of my girlfriends/sisters I've had my entire life who also decided to leave the j-dubs. We just get each other in a way no one else does. My mom and sister have decided to let me back in, so in whatever capacity it is, I pretty much have a whole family again. 

The best part? This has all come about in spite of the fact that I decided to stay true to myself. This is one of the most difficult things for all of us to do, and a lot of us get part way down that road less traveled and give up because it's too dark, too difficult. Don't do that. The light at the end makes it worth the journey. Right now, I'm not lying, I'm the happiest version of myself that I ever would have dreamed was possible. 

I'm grateful for my job, where I live, all the ex-boyfriends who know my psycho story and still make time to be my friend, even if they have new girlfriends. I've been working a bit harder on my writing aspirations, and then this happened:

 

You may or may not know who she is, but Jenny Lawson is who I want to be when I grow up. I'm pretty honest on here, but she's even more honest than me and I envy how much she gets away with saying "fuck". She's a blogger, turned best selling author, millions of people read her every month. And she's following ME on twitter. My other writing related side project hasn't even been in print yet but I'm on my way, I can feel it.

Sometimes it feels like life just keeps kicking the shit out of you, over and over again, and it will never end. When that happens, and you want to give up so, so badly, you pretty much have no choice other than to channel Bruce Willis in Die Hard and find some kind of fun in somehow, someway, making things better. Yippee Ki-Yay! 

I think I've shed my skin. Welcome to the future. It looks bright.

Sullivan out.