Love Yourself

"You think I'm crying on my own but I ain't. And I didn't want to write a song cause I didn't want anyone thinking I still care, I don't." - Justin Bieber

What you don't like that song? I think he's coming along. :)

Happy Spring everyone! Y'all know I'm a new beginnings junkie. While, like everyone else I hate losing that extra hour of sleep, it's so exciting to start something new, yet again. :)

This past week has been monumental for me. Making the decision to disassociate myself from the JWs was difficult. To me though, this is a cause for celebration. I have never felt so free. So in control of my life. So proud of myself and the strong person I've become. 

That's why I have to address a rumour. 

This is my fault. I've been so open on here about the journey I've been through. That I've dealt with anxiety and depression. That I attempted suicide. I've done those things because I think we need to break down stigmas. We need to educate people on mental health issues. We need to let people know that it's okay to talk about it, to get the help you need. And they need to know it's something you can overcome. 

My therapist told me he thought I should get a samurai sword. That it would make me feel more empowered. I keep meaning to take some classes to learn how to use it but I've been lazy. The other weekend my friends were over and I wanted to show them how sharp it is. It's the same one Uma has in Kill Bill, just in red. :)

I'm a clutz. As I was taking it off the wall, I dropped it. I have a very deep cut on my wrist. I probably should have got stitches. But I was with my ex-boyfriend who thinks everything can be cured by just putting ice on it. The good part? I proved my point on how it IS a real sword and very sharp. The bad part? Everyone thinks I tried to kill myself again. I get people grabbing my wrist, asking me to get help. Talking about me behind my back. The reason I don't cover it up is because it heals better this way and I have NOTHING to hide. It was just an accident people!

Besides, as someone who has tried to kill themselves once, I know you don't cut it that way. You have to cut it the other way. And both wrists, not just one. So y'all can calm down. If you really don't believe me, I'll give you my friends phone numbers and you can ask them. 

I would never leave my dog. Or let you guys down who've stuck with me over the years. And I'm not depressed. I'm just a clumsy person with a sword. 

Let's end this on a fun note. I have a huge crush on my new neighbour. I'm terrible with names though, so when I ran into him in the hall yesterday I didn't know what to say because I can't remember his name. So I just said "Get that guy Max! Attack!" Of course Max would never hurt a flea but he ran over to him. The really handsome guy decided to take the stairs instead of waiting for the elevator with us. He's probably also sick of listening to Justin Bieber through my walls. Yes, I will be single forever. :)

I finally love myself though, so if that's the only romance I get now, I'm fine with that. :)

Sullivan out. (But not because I'm home trying to off myself!)