Who you Love

You love who you love. 

I wish there was some way to control it. I date A LOT. I'm lucky in that I've met so many awesome people. Finding that connection with someone though? Not so easy. 

I've had great boyfriends. Was I crazy about any of them though? Not really. We were good friends, we had fun times together. 

Last night though, I went out with someone from my past. That guy, I was crazy about him from the first night we met. It's been a couple of years and nothing has changed, not him or our connection anyways. 

I couldn't decide if this was the absolute worst decision I could make, but I did it anyways. It probably didn't help that it was a full moon. 

I woke up alone this morning, with a few of his cigarette butts on the window ledge. I feel "off". 

I'm in my thirties. I'd like to have a kid. I try to be responsible about who I date now. Good job, stable guy, someone who could put up with me while I put up with them and have some fun together along the way. 

But I'm also a romantic. I'd love to spend the rest of my life with someone I'm madly in love with. The two pursuits never seem to match up for me. 

Love doesn't seem to be much of a science, it's random and rare. This guy? I might not see him for another couple of years. And I learned my lesson the first time around, I won't try to force it. At the end of the day though...you love who you love. And he sure can kiss. :)