Odd & Imperfect

"I always find beauty in things that are odd and imperfect - they are much more interesting." - Marc Jacobs

I have this book on the go. My non jdub family has always been so Team Margaux. I asked my therapist yesterday what do they want from me in return for all their kindness? What does he want from me? He's been there through all these bad years. First, he slashed his prices in half. Then I ran out of money and he treated me for free. He said he was just one of those guys who stands next to a marathon and gives out cups of water. He helps, but he has no power over the outcome of the race. If we finish it our not.

I asked my cousin about the book, what I should do with it. She said maybe I should wait until I know how it ends. This is how it ends. (Please still buy the book even though I've giving the ending away).

I never could have imagined that a life of sacrifice and devotion to God would have ended up like mine did. Unfortunately there are forces out there that - as much as we try to fight against them - will always win. They have the money, the influence, the power. The JWs will always beat me. It doesn't mean I shouldn't go down fighting. :)

The truth is, this is how this story ends. All the odd and imperfect people out there understand me better than anyone did in that life where we all had to pretend we were perfect all the time. We can be honest. We can be straight or gay. We can be imperfect. We can live in a world where people don't expect you to pay them back for what they did for you as long as you're kind and you pay it forward.

Will I ever meet a guy who will look over my past and think I'm worth investing in despite that? Who knows. But I have reconnected with so many people that in that past life, I couldn't have been friends with. Because I had to judge their lifestyles. My happy ending is, I get to not be that person anymore. I went out with my cousins the other night and honestly, there is something about family that just makes you fall in love immediately even if you haven't seen them in a really long time.

I'd pick odd and imperfect any day over fake perfection. So this story is over. If you want to be part of the sequel, let me know. :)

Sullivan out.