Sting of the Scorpion

"A fish may love a bird, but where would they live?"

I have nothing new to report, so let's tell a story.

Once upon a time, a cute, blonde fish met a tall, red-headed scorpion. She fell madly in love with him, so blinded by passion and romance, that she completely forgot about his tail. It wasn't until he almost killed her that she finally learned her lesson. (She didn't learn her lesson.)

She dated a few Leos (because a fish and a lion is such a better idea), but they mostly ate her for dinner.

Then she met another scorpion. Apparently, on their first date, she moved her chair back away from him a whole foot after she asked him his sign.

Pisces and Scorpios are an ideal love match.

This is what "they" say:

"The bond they create lasts a lifetime, even if they go their separate ways. Each returns in dreams, though they may never see each other physically again. It's just too deeply embedded in the heart and soul to ever forget."

Despite not being an idiot and completely knowing better, she fell for him, pretty hard and fast. He was a charmer, no doubt about it. Cute (but short) and seemingly completely enthralled with her, she gave away a good chunk of her heart. Willingly.

It was the first time since Adam, who was the first time she did that. The new Scorpion was an even better bullshitter.

After a few failed attempts at making something out of this, she wrote him off. Of course, eventually they ended up back in the same room they met. She decided to be nice. With a smile and a hug, things seemed ok.

That was, until he was sitting three feet away from her and started making out with some random stranger who showed up.

The sensitive Pisces tried to be a big girl for the first 15 minutes or so, until the Irish in her came out. She got up, threw her drink at him and went upstairs to cry.

I won't lie. First time I ever tried it, but throwing your drink at someone is ridiculously fun. Unless you are half-drunk and have bad aim to begin with and accidentally mostly hit the wrong person. Then you spend the next day wracked with guilt having panic attacks. Just sayin'.

Their dating season was cursed anyways, with her spending weeks and weeks thinking she was knocked up. (Sorry Daddy, I'll be more careful in the future.)

I actually thought the whole thing out very thoroughly. I couldn't raise my hypothetical Irish baby alone, so I'd have to move in with my best friend. The JWs would love that. Margaux's Complete Fall from Grace: Starring: Being a Single Mom and Living with Lesbians.

Mum probably wouldn't even send her bi-monthly "You're going to die at Armageddon" emails, she would just give up.

As it turned out, everything was ok. I'm getting older and the chances of having kids is decreasing. It's a two-edged sword. And as for the Scorpion? He's still free to go sting somebody else.

A very good lesson to learn though is the importance of trusting your gut. With the Scorpion, I had a crazy, instant connection. But I couldn't shake the feeling that it wasn't OUR connection, it was probably the connection he has with every girl he ever meets. Makes you feel special, understood, desirable. He was very good at that. Too good.

And as for the fish? She's a little busy with school, work, the other work, a few friends. We're putting the boys on hold for now. But we're happy. :)