My Funny Valentine

"To love oneself is the beginning of a life long romance." - Oscar Wilde

Before y'all go getting all excited, no I do not have a boyfriend. I have however been on two dates in the past week with the same guy and I think he'll be back for a third so that's progress for me. Not that I'm opposed to having a relationship, things just never seem to work out.

This blog is a shout out to one of the most important men in my life. We dated on and off for awhile but could never really seem to make it stick. We have completely different work schedules. I don't really care for most of his friends. His parents hate me. They call me the "white girl". (Hey, reverse racism is a thing people!)

On top of that, I was a terrible girlfriend. I cheated on him. Twice. I asked him once if we could get back together and he just laughed at me. Despite all of this, he is one of the best, most loyal and longest term friends I have here on the outside of my past life. He likes to call me a motherfucking piece of shit, but it's basically a term of endearment. :)

I honestly would not have made it through the past few years without Jay. Sure, we fight sometimes but I always know if I need him, he'll be there. Right away. No questions asked. He rubs my back when I have panic attacks. I can't tell you how many times he's taken me to the hospital. One time I thought I might actually die. Jay stayed with me all night and all the next day until the doctors figured out how to fix me and then he took me home.

He makes sure I eat. He came with me when I had to put my cat down and we both cried. My dog seems to have as many health crises as I do, and when I can't afford the vet bills he helps me out. He always wins Christmas, he says he wants to make it a happy time for me since I didn't have it growing up. He made up "no pants Sunday" where we would just wear big tshirts and lie around watching Game of Thrones. He's kind and generous and smart. When I was out east last summer he would send me care packages with new clothes because I went out there with a small bag, not knowing how long it would be until I came back.

Jay has been my rock and I hope we're friends until we die. My friends get all excited when I date someone new, because Margaux really doesn't really date all that much. I don't really feel like I need to. We will see how new guy does, but I have so many great guys in my life including my dad, my uncle, my boss, my roomate, some great ex-boyfriends. I bought myself flowers for Valentines Day because I'm actually starting to get the hang of this self-love thing. I wouldn't have made it there though without those men.

So JayJay - happy Valentines Day lovie. I love you  so much, you motherfucking piece of shit. :)

Sullivan out.