We've Got Tonight

I can't find the right version of this Bob Seger song so no youtube link today. But I'm sure you know the song. If you don't, please stop reading me right now and go watch whatever it is you kids are watching these days.

"I know it's late. I know you're weary. I know your plans don't include me. Still here we are, both of us lonely, longing for shelter from all that we see."

My last boyfriend told me I was just terrified of being alone. That's not true. I've been alone more than most people I know ever have. And I'm pretty sure I rock it. That doesn't mean though that I don't appreciate the company when they are here. :)

I've chosen to open the door to good people who want to come through it and however long they stay, they stay. When they leave, they leave. I honestly don't have a plan. I don't have an end game. I don't need you to buy me a diamond or try to spend forever with me. My forever is on a different path than what I was programmed to believe in. It might mean I end up alone, but I'm just taking it one day at a time. I'll figure it out.

This song...good story. I dropped my little brother off at the airport after a long night of barhopping. I was hungover, sleep deprived and smoking a cigarette. This guy walked up and asked me for directions so I took him to his hotel. Cause I'm nice like that. He hung around for the next four days and one night after we went to dinner I put on this song and we danced to it in the living room. We were supposed to come back together but it didn't happen. And that's okay.

It seems like everyone I know got engaged recently and I'm happy for them. But for me, tonight is all that I can commit to right now. And you know what? All those years I spent with my ex-husband? Were special. I still miss him. But some of those short stories along the way are special too. I think we're programmed to not want to be alone. Getting to that place though where we can just appreciate the present and not worry about the future has been probably the most significant achievement of my life.

When we learn to love ourselves, we're never really alone are we? Then having "tonight" with someone special just makes life all that much better. :)

*Dedicated to you, Vienna*