Not Myself Today

So y'all know I'm doing this panel event at work for Mental Health Week. I've been working on my speech in the evenings this week and I think I'm almost done. I've practiced it a few times, I'm coming in on just over 10 minutes. Apparently I have 15 but no one is going to complain if a breakfast meeting wraps up a few minutes early. Plus, we're having a Q&A at the end, so more time for that. 

I really didn't want to do this, but I've somehow become a voice for this cause and to be honest, it's fulfilling. 

I've been getting a lot of hate on this blog lately, at first it bothered me, now not so much. You have to expect that as a by-product of putting yourself out there. Not everyone will appreciate it. Not everyone will agree with you. And you know what? That's ok. Maybe for every ten hateful comments I get, there's that one person who sends you a message and thanks you for making them feel less alone. For being the voice they have inside them that they can't quite express yet. They'll get there. There are silent heroes amoung us everywhere. They just need to feel like they have a community, they have support and they'll find their voice. 

I know that from what I've been through. When I first ended up all alone, trying to start over, the first thing I did was contact someone I hadn't talked to in years. And she let me back in immediately. I can't tell you what our reunion was like, after all those years apart. Some people though, don't have anyone to call. That's why I write this blog. Contact me. I'll do what I can to help. 

At work they've done a campaign on mental health called "Not Myself Today" and the premise of course is that mental illness is the same as any other kind of illness even though it's not as tolerated or socially acceptable. We have good days. We have bad days. Some days, we are not ourselves. But we're trying so, so hard to get back there. 

For me, losing part of who I am is worse than all the other people I lost along the way. I wish I had loved myself enough when I was whole because I'm pretty sure the old Margaux is never completely coming back. 

The good thing about life is that if you're open to it, the Universe will try to make it up to you. New people will come in, and they'll just love you for who you are. They don't judge you based on who you used to be, they didn't know that person. The only challenge at this point, is letting them in, and not judging yourself on who you used to be either. Onward and upward. I'm grateful for new friends, new experiences, acceptance and tolerance. Life is too short, let's be happy. :)

Sullivan out.