Reckless

I've been trying to write tonight, but I'm blocked. I can't think of a single topic to approach that won't bore you. The more people who are reading me, the more pressure I feel. (Sidepoint: Big shout out to Europe. I've got blog-stalkers in Germany, France, Austria, Finland, Russia these days. It's about time you guys caught up - yay!)

So I was thinking about potential topics tonight. "Why didn't you and your fuck buddy ever make it as a couple?" Nope. Too easy. "Is it possible girlfriends synchronize on relationship patterns the same way they do with their periods?" Too real-life lately for my group. "Eating half of a red onion in your dinner salad: why being single will always rock." Nope. Cleaning out the kitty litter just ruined "the perks of being single" for me.

Seriously though, it's raining yet again in Toronto and although the rain always makes me feel melancholy, it also makes me happy. Right now it's a sign of spring around the corner, I get to watch cute couples with rubber boots and big umbrellas out my window. Work is good, school is almost over, and come 2 days from now, my dad will be here. Win, win, win. I love spring!

I have a bunch of little dresses in the closet that haven't seen the light of day for a long time. I thought about going to Vienna on my upcoming week off from work and I realized a few things. Mostly, that I have awesome girlfriends. Lindsay offered to loan me money for the plane ticket. Krista said I should just do it. Liz and Kyla thought I should just take a sabbital from work and see where life took us from there.

And I seriously considered it. The thing about being a grown up is we tend to lose that childish wonder, the complete feeling of being invinsible and not fearing anything. Back then, we were immortal. Now, we could get hurt. We know that because we've been there oh so many times. We've broken our bones, we've broken our hearts. Once, when I was into kickboxing, I tried to make a move on my best friend who was being really annoying, slipped and ended up with two broken bones in my wrist. My arm really was broken but Monique was a fainter, so she got all the attention. Someone told me I should just put some ice on it, but the way the whole thing bent backwards made me insist we should try something called "the hospital". Imagine calling into work on Monday and telling them you wouldn't make it in because you broke your arm in an accidental kickboxing incident. Where you were wearing high heels. I could get away with it then, I was probably 22. Now, not so much.

I have to tell you though, as much as being an adult can sometimes rock, I miss those days of carefree abandon, that start with a card game and end in an impromtu game of hide and seek, which have now been replaced with long days at the office and weekends at the local bar with my friends trying to forget the fact that we're all grown up. (Although I do love my local bar. And bad karaoke bars.)

I've wandered off topic. I decided I was up for the challenge of throwing myself out of my comfort zone and doing something reckless for the first time in forever. In the end though, Vienna was not meant to be. And to be honest, I'd rather go somewhere I've never been. Maybe India. I hear it's terrible. I'm sure I'd love it!

In the meantime, this blog is probably the only thing I do that would make 12 year old me proud. She wasn't really into yoga, or working all the time, or wearing black wool suits. Are any of us? Even the most driven of all people, Jersey Shore goes home on the weekend to his family, his painting, his recipes. Career and job security are important. But maybe more important, (yes! more important!) is nourishing our soul with the things that make us truly happy. And being a little crazy and reckless once in awhile? It's a good choice, and even if you get bruised or banged up a bit, it's makes your inner child very proud. I have no regrets. :)