My Funny Valentine

"To love oneself is the beginning of a life long romance." - Oscar Wilde

Before y'all go getting all excited, no I do not have a boyfriend. I have however been on two dates in the past week with the same guy and I think he'll be back for a third so that's progress for me. Not that I'm opposed to having a relationship, things just never seem to work out.

This blog is a shout out to one of the most important men in my life. We dated on and off for awhile but could never really seem to make it stick. We have completely different work schedules. I don't really care for most of his friends. His parents hate me. They call me the "white girl". (Hey, reverse racism is a thing people!)

On top of that, I was a terrible girlfriend. I cheated on him. Twice. I asked him once if we could get back together and he just laughed at me. Despite all of this, he is one of the best, most loyal and longest term friends I have here on the outside of my past life. He likes to call me a motherfucking piece of shit, but it's basically a term of endearment. :)

I honestly would not have made it through the past few years without Jay. Sure, we fight sometimes but I always know if I need him, he'll be there. Right away. No questions asked. He rubs my back when I have panic attacks. I can't tell you how many times he's taken me to the hospital. One time I thought I might actually die. Jay stayed with me all night and all the next day until the doctors figured out how to fix me and then he took me home.

He makes sure I eat. He came with me when I had to put my cat down and we both cried. My dog seems to have as many health crises as I do, and when I can't afford the vet bills he helps me out. He always wins Christmas, he says he wants to make it a happy time for me since I didn't have it growing up. He made up "no pants Sunday" where we would just wear big tshirts and lie around watching Game of Thrones. He's kind and generous and smart. When I was out east last summer he would send me care packages with new clothes because I went out there with a small bag, not knowing how long it would be until I came back.

Jay has been my rock and I hope we're friends until we die. My friends get all excited when I date someone new, because Margaux really doesn't really date all that much. I don't really feel like I need to. We will see how new guy does, but I have so many great guys in my life including my dad, my uncle, my boss, my roomate, some great ex-boyfriends. I bought myself flowers for Valentines Day because I'm actually starting to get the hang of this self-love thing. I wouldn't have made it there though without those men.

So JayJay - happy Valentines Day lovie. I love you  so much, you motherfucking piece of shit. :)

Sullivan out.

Be my Valentine...?

Yesterday I got in a taxi, then on a plane, and then another plane. Had lunch with my uncle in Halifax and then onto a bus. My aunt picked me up at the gas station and 12 and half hours later I was home. 

I woke up to this:

I've never been much for sleeping in and this is the perfect place to watch the sun come up. My aunt was very well prepared for V-Day. She had flowers for Grandma, cards and presents. I even got one - she gave me this - a pretty crystal I can hang in the window and when the sun hits it - rainbows will be everywhere in the apartment. I think I lucked out. :)

I know that this is just a silly, commercial holiday that really shouldn't matter. But to a lot of girls it does. I have friends who say it makes them feel more single if they don't have someone to spend it with. I have friends whose boyfriends completely forget to do anything sweet for them at all. If you go on Instagram or FaceBook though you can see from the pictures there are tons of girls whose boyfriends/husbands/significant others are really well prepared for this made-up holiday. 

Having grown up "holiday free" I don't buy in to spending tons of money to follow the crowd. But I also think that any occasion that reminds us to show love and affection to the people in our lives - even in little ways - is not a bad thing. And hey, who doesn't like flowers or chocolates? Those people cannot be trusted!

I'll share the worst story I heard today. My girlfriend has recently reconnected with an ex. A BIG ex. He asked for a place to stay for a little bit. She hummed and wondered what the right thing to do would be. She went the way a lot of us do (I've been there) and said sure, she could give him a month. We're women, we're compassionate. And we've all been in situations where someone went out of their way to help us out. 

She found out today, on Valentines Day, the day that once upon a time ago they had planned their wedding for - that he's actually married now and never told her. Ouch. 

I think the best thing to do today is to make a date with your BFF and not let society dictate your happiness, whether or not you received those red roses. My plan, were I in Toronto now was to hit up a wine show at an art gallery with Lindsay. Y'all know I don't date anymore, but a few of the huge dogs here have tried to make out with me. There is love in the air! There's a lovely bouquet of flowers on the table, I think I'll just take a pic and post it on Instagram. My hot, rich, sensitive, doctor/lawyer/CEO boyfriend must have bought them for me right? He's so sweet. :)

I did have a date with two different men today. They were okay but both of them turned out to sorta be an ass. I don't see a long term future for us.  

I say it all the time, the most important person you should love is you. If you're staying in tonight, find something special for you - and just for you. Pick up some flowers. Buy a nice bottle of wine. Give yourself a facial and listen to the music you love (because there's no boy there to tell you to turn off your Taylor Swift cd! Yay!) If you're still a little sad read this: You Complete Me...?  All you fabulous women deserve it! And if you're a little lonely, you can borrow one of the donkeys. :)

Sullivan out. 

PS - There is one man I desperately miss and wish I was having cuddle time with tonight. Max!!

Since he was abandoned on New Years Day, I've distributed flyers and had quite a bit of interest from people in the community who want to adopt him. It's not too late (yet - but soon it will be! 5 days to go!) to contribute to our crowdfunding campaign to cover some of his vet bills. 

Even $10 helps. One of my friends got his tip money from work and gave us $10 in loonies. It was much appreciated. Click here to support us!

Be Mine :)

So yesterday was Valentines Day. You wouldn't believe how many men there were in suits frantically running around the financial district, buying cards and flowers, wine and chocolates after work. 

Lots of people hate on this made-up holiday. My hero, The Bloggess wrote a really funny blog: http://thebloggess.com/2014/02/fuck-valentines-day/. You should read her. :)

I kind of like it though. Maybe it's because I grew up with no holidays, ever, although I do see the commercialism, the stress and expectations that come with celebrating anything, I think if we all just calmed down a little bit and lowered our self-interest we could appreciate all the holidays for what they really should be. People pick up the phone, send sweet little messages and reconnect with the ones they care about. Holidays are a reminder to slow down from our crazy lives for *just a minute* and spread some love. 


Ellen Page chose to come out as gay yesterday. That cute little girl from Halifax was obviously so nervous giving her speech. But her message was one of love and acceptance. She's right. We all should have the right to love whoever we want regardless of age, social status, religion, race, or sexual orientation. 

I had a couple of nice dates, a bottle of wine, the heart-shaped box of chocolate, flowers on the table. The night ended with a bunch of us at the bar downstairs, pelting each other with cinnamon hearts and laughing. Apparently that place is a mess today. 

Whether you're at the place where you spent last night with the love of your life, chose to hang out with your friends, went on a first date, kept your ex-boyfriend company or stayed home alone, lit some candles and took a bath...the young, wise Ellen Page was right. You can't really love anyone else until you love yourself.

Self love is the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all. Once you master that one, the next challenge is staying true to you and only letting people into your life who love the you you love. Never settle. :)

Blackbird out.