It's been a rough week. Maybe it's because today is not only Friday the 13th but also a full moon. That doesn't happen very often. The next time it does, we'll all be very old.
I have to say, I really appreciate your comments on this blog, on the Canadian Living article online and on reddit.com. I know not all of you feel ready to be anything other than "anonymous" and that's ok. I am so grateful for your support. When I started speaking out about my past, my experiences, and against the Watchtower organization, no one was really listening. Today it's a different story. And now, y'all are speaking out too.
If I've said it once, I've said it a million times, it's the organization that I'm against, not the people. Some ex-jws have been very vocally angry at me for not disassociating myself, not cutting off my mother and sister. What can I say? I love the people despite everything that's happened. I don't see any benefit in giving in to anger and hate. Does that mean I don't think we should ever feel angry about what happened to us? Of course not. Who would choose to be raised in a controlling, brainwashing cult? None of us. But that was our experience and let's admit it - we had some really good times there.
I'm not downplaying the emotional trauma that we've been through and are still going through. A lot of us have post traumatic stress. I finally, after the worst panic attack of my life, went to my therapist yesterday and told him to just put me on medication. I've always felt a stigma around this (and actually around therapists in general) but I've come to the point in life where I realize I need help. And today I feel much better. :)
I want to continue to focus on the positive. I have happy memories of a lot of old friends that I will always cherish. I want to stay a part of my family. Holding on to anger and resentment only hurts us, not the people we're sending it to. We can speak out, we can be activists without being hateful. Love is the answer and love will set us free. :)
Sullivan out.
Congrats on making the decision to overcome the stigma and try meds (and therapy). Getting on meds was a huge turning point for me and has greatly improved my quality of life. I wish the same for you.
ReplyDeleteI have always found it frustrating when people get angry at you for not having the same heart or thought process as you. So judgmental for taking care of things your way and for living out your journey your way. Wasn't that the point in not being a witness anymore? So that you could do things without the influence of others? Sounds like those ex jw's are holding onto their former way of life a little and are in denial. Telling other people what to do and how to live their lives. Sounds all too familiar to me. Shame on them.
ReplyDeleteSorry.. I meant * same thought process and heart as them not as you.
ReplyDeleteMedication saved my life and would not be able to function and cope otherwise :-). Yes, there is definately a stigma but hopefully with time it will no longer exist! It's with people who are fearless and open like you that I can see any turning point towards attitudes regarding mental illness.
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