Daddy Issues

It's Father's Day weekend. We all know what that means: I forgot to send a card. The holidays are fun but coming from the "no-holidays" JW background, it's hard to keep up. I knew it was coming so I really don't have an excuse this time. I called my dad last Sunday. 

Me: Happy Father's Day Daddy!
Him: That's next Sunday Margaux. 
Me: Ohhhh.

So I had a whole week to get my shit together, but if you've been keeping up, you know I had a really bad week of panic. It may sound silly but going to the mall really stresses me out. I knew I should go, get a card and a gift, my girlfriend texted me that Victoria's Secret was having a great sale. I couldn't do it. I just couldn't go there. After work, I just wanted to be at home. All I could manage was going to work and back. 

Well, I guess if I can't leave the apartment, this is my only option. This handsome man is my father. 

My parents split up when I was young, so unfortunately we didn't get to spend as much time together as we would have liked while I was growing up. 

I wonder if that's why I can't figure out who I'm supposed to be with now? I've spent the majority of today talking to 5 different ex-boyfriends, all lovely. They are great friends but it never seems to work out. 

My dad is a wonderful person. Works hard, active in the church, dedicated to his wife, tries to do the best he can for his kids. We don't always see eye to eye, but who does with your parents? I'm more like him than I am like anyone else in my family. I truly believe that most of the things I love about myself come from him:

My eyes. (I should mention that this is not in order of importance, because I'm starting off with something very vain.) They are however the exact same color and every time I look in the mirror I can see him. 

My compulsion to help others. Sometimes this is a strength, sometimes a weakness. I know it needs to be balanced but I love the fact that it's in me. He does everything he can to better his community and that's inspiring. 

My intellect. I'm not saying I'm the smartest person out there, but I've been able to get by pretty well in the corporate world. My dad is one of the smartest people I know. 

My positive attitude. Some people say I wax poetic on here. And that's true. But if you read between the lines you know I have some really hard days. What's the use of focusing on that? I think if we set a goal to be happy, appreciate our blessings and try the best we can to be grateful, the Universe rewards us. 

When I was disfellowshipped, I was pretty much alone, except for Michael. Dad would call me every day. If I was having a bad day, he'd call twice, three times. He got me through that and constantly encouraged me to move forward. 

He's a great husband, dad and grandfather. He calls me every year on my birthday and tells me the story about how I almost died when I was born. (I've always had bad luck.) And how happy he is that I ended up ok. I wouldn't be here without him, and the second time around, when I went through all that shit, I wouldn't have been here without him again. 

I love you Daddy. Happy Father's Day. xxx

Sullivan out.