Dreamcatcher

My lovely boyfriend took me to "Taste of the Danforth" on Sunday, just because I'd never been. I guess even a few years into my new life there are still some things I haven't tried yet. :)

It was a gorgeous day, actually August has been phenomenal weather all-round here in Toronto. So we're walking around and he buys me a Blackbird tattoo (Temporary! But now I want a real one...) and we get something to eat, have a drink on a patio. We were having a good time and eventually got around to talking about why am I such a crazy when I'm in a relationship, when we always have so much fun? The answer is pretty straightforward: severe trust/abandonment issues coupled with the idea that I'm running out of time to have a kid. It's hard to just calm down and enjoy the ride when you're secretly looking for a baby-daddy. :)

Eventually, as the crowds were getting crazy and we were getting ready to leave, we walk past a psychic sitting out on the sidewalk and I stop. He just looks and me, pulls out a $20 bill and says "sit down".

Now, I've never done this before except with Liz and she knows me inside and out so it's not usually a surprise that she's pretty accurate. This woman though, has never even seen me before. I wasn't going to give her anything to go on, so I wouldn't talk. She did. She starts off by telling me the past few years have been shit but I'm finally getting better and things are just going to keep on improving. She said that through this process I've grown a lot closer to my father and that was a good thing. She said I'm a mirror image of him...and in a lot of ways, I am. And I'm proud to be.

Then she said I had a brother and a sister and things were strained with my sister and I should just stop trying to fix it.

She said I was a writer, I was pretty good and I should stick with it and stop being so obsessed about work, even though I feel like I'm years behind my colleagues and trying to play catch-up. And I should edit what I write more. Got it. (Sorry y'all I'm usually a quick and dirty kinda girl on here but I've actually waited a few days to post this one.)

Then she says "What do you want to know about the ghost?" Krista and I have a ghost at home that we really never tell anyone about but he's there. He died here, back in the day. Her psychic said so too. :)

She said I was afraid I'd never have a kid but I shouldn't worry about it because I'm having a daughter. And that I should calm down about the relationship I'm in right now, because he's a good guy and he really cares.

It's funny, I posted something on FB not that long ago, it was a rant by a JW elder on shunning disfellowshipped people, and he quotes Matthew, where Jesus said he came not to put peace but a sword. Fathers against sons, mothers against daughters.

Finally we're wrapping up and she says, do you have anything to ask me? Yes. Will my mother ever have a relationship with me again? She flips over a card. It's all swords. I know the answer.

So, I still don't know how much I buy into the whole paranormal thing. I know I love True Blood and I wouldn't mind being a vampire so long as I could drink fairy blood and walk around in the sun. :)

But psychics? Who knows. I wondered about it years ago, because often when I dreamt about something, it would happen shortly afterwards. But maybe it's just a matter of us being more in tune with ourselves, the Universe and each other and if we were, we'd all pick up more on other people's aura.

Whatever her deal was, between that conversation and finishing up my little (BIG) side-project on Friday, I feel better about everything and much more at peace. The whole reason I signed up for that (besides my personal writing aspirations) was to let people out there know that if you're in a situation where you aren't happy or it's the wrong fit for you, you really should get out of it. Even if it's the hardest thing you'll ever have to do. The pain that comes with making a big change is only temporary and the fear subsides.

Looking at the the people in my life now, and where I'm at, I have to admit, I've been blessed. I ran into 3 old friends in the past couple of days and instead of feeling like there's some kind of gaping wound in my heart, it was more of a slight pinprick. The old memories are fading fast now and everyday being replaced with new ones. I really am very happy. I'm pretty sure my dreams are going to keep coming true and at the end of the day, I have the solace of knowing my daughter will definitely not have to grow up in a cult. :)