Salt Water

I haven't had a good JW rant lately so here we go. My ex boyfriend says I need to write. I do. Even if no one reads it.

Them: Please consider returning to Jehovah.

Me in my head: Are you fucking kidding me? Again? We're going to do this again?

So I'm like, okay. But I have some hard questions. I will require answers. Why are elders allowed to play God and ruin people's lives? If all the decisions made are made by Jehovah why do they get to sit in a room and tell me that my angry ex-husband got to decide what to do with me and laugh at me in my face? Where is the kindness, the compassion, the love they preach?

It's not there. We on the outside weren't the liars, they were. After my email, they decided there was no reason for us to meet up after all. Because they are cowards. And believing anything I say could take a chunk out of their belief system. God forbid. And I'm a woman. I've known both of them for over 20 years and they KNOW ME. I'm not a liar. I never have been.

But women do not get treated equally in their fucked up society. The men rule. And then instead of accepting the consequences of their actions and holding each other accountable, they cover up for each other and keep pretending they're all perfect. You know what elders? Some of you are good. Some of you are bad. Very, very bad. None of you are going to live forever in paradise. That's a faitrytale made up by some other man who wanted to control everyone else too. Oh, did I mention it's all about the money they make?

Then there's this guy I'm dating. Part of me wants to cry about this, but honestly, how can I? He was kind to me. I loved him a lot, for sure, but he was unavailable. I just never love anyone you know?

My boss thinks I need to just love me. So I'm going home. Maybe the salt water will heal everything. The ocean keeps trying to drown me (three times) but I love it regardless. :)

Sullivan out.