Dark Before Dawn

You gotta love technology. Being stuck in the past as long as I was, I was more surprised than anyone else when in a spur of the moment decision, I got rid of my BlackBerry and got an iPhone instead.

Why I didn't do this years ago, I don't know. It's awesome. And there you have it folks, that's the most exciting thing that's happened in weeks. Which is why, of course, I haven't been writing. It's probably just that fall is coming to an end, winter is coming (I finally caught up on Game of Thrones) but I've been feeling a bit down. Still.

"They" always say it's darkest before dawn. And "they" are right. What they don't tell you is that dawn can last an awfully long time. I think that's why I've been feeling the way I have. Before all the JWs start posting shit on my blog, let's be very clear I'm a happy person and this has nothing to do with you. But all of us can find ourselves at that spot where we've been working so hard (school, work, relationships, life) and it seem like nothing ever changes. Do you know what I mean?

It's not that I haven't been promoted at work or that I haven't had a break-through on the writing side, it's not that I haven't found "the one", it's not even that I have great friends but I still feel alone. It's the combination of all those things, plus, winter is coming.

On the work front, I shouldn't be surprised. Do I stress about it at nauseum, worry about it when I should be sleeping? Yes. But my boss knows this isn't really what I want. His great advice to me this week was to quit school and get a weekend job as a bartender so I can move to NYC and be a writer. Awesome.

School? Is fine. I'm type A, you're looking at As across the board here.

Relationships. I can't complain, the men I've dated have been lovely. Finding the right one, not as easy though, especially if you think you've already found him and he got away. Friends? I love my friends. I hate it though when all of them are in relationships at the same time. #lonelyweekends #thirdwheel

So I got out of the darkness, but the dawn dragging on this long is slightly depressing. Will it last? No, nothing ever lasts. It gets bad, it gets worse, it gets better.

In the meantime, if you're in my 'hood bring me a cupcake. I'm sad.