The Story Girl

I do like a road because you can always be wondering what is at the end of it.

This girl has been having a hard time lately. The anniversary of some difficult times last year is not happy. It's not just hard for me. My whole family worries. How could they not?

But it's Christmas. We have so much to be grateful for. Thoughtful friends. Loving family. Good times of cheer and laughter. My brother came over last night. It was just us, starting our own new traditions with gifts and panzerottis and mass. He laughed a lot telling stories of so many midnight masses over the years with his brothers, the singing and music and family, while I had a slight panic attack over actually being in a church again after all this time. Michael held my hand though and we had a lovely evening.

Reflecting back on the past year, it's gone by so fast. The days are long, but the years are short. So much has changed, yet again this year. I could really go for a nice long dose of boring familiarity. But I'm not there, yet.

Starting new traditions is a good way to bring the normality back into your life. This was my second Christmas with my brother, my cousin Tara and her fiancee Chris, with Liz and Steve, with my other Chris' family. Three years ago I was home for my aunt and uncle's Christmas tradition - a walk along the beach with the dogs. We almost died, but that's another story...

People complain that Christmas is too commercial, but I think it's a great time of year. People telling each other how much they love and appreciate them, thoughtful gifts (someone actually painted me a portrait of a Blackbird this year!), a time out from work to focus on family and friends - the important relationships we sometimes neglect when we're too busy.

I've seen exceptional kindness and care for others who might be alone, "orphans" who will band together so someone else feels love and community. Going into the New Year, I have a list that's pretty long again of all the ways I hope to change and become better. Again. It's a constant process of self-reflection, self-improvement and if we're very lucky...eventually self-love.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone! May you be filled with Faith, Hope and Love. And Ken, where ever you are, we love you, we miss you and wish you Peace.