Spin, spin, spin

Last night was our company xmas party. After 3 years, I've accepted that I'll always be the strange girl who brings her brother as her date. Joke's on you, people with real boyfriends though, because my brother is awesome. And he's more handsome than your boyfriend.

One of the highlights of our childhood was going to the ex at the end of every summer. They have this ride, called the Tornado. I always went on it, always threw up. Needless to say, when we realized it was there last night, it was a challenge to be conquered. I almost felt like we were kids again, Michael trying his best to make me sick, spinning it as fast as it could go. I pulled through.

I've become pretty adept at living inside a tornado. I still feel a bit off this am, but I didn't throw up. And I did it wearing super high heels and a very pretty dress.

I think there's some part of us that never grows up, I could see Michael and I doing that when we're 70. I'm sure we'll still be together, but hopefully not alone together the way we are now. I know right now it's by choice, for both of us.

Part of me wants to call Travis. I want to yell at him, tell him we were together for 10 years, to not get married and seperate us forever. But the part of me that wants him to just be happy is stronger.

I was looking at the two pictures I still have of Travis in my bedroom. No wonder no one else who actually makes it in there ever stays. There's no room. Between him and Adam and the crowd of ghosts who follow me everywhere, I will always be single. But with all that company, I am never alone.