Let it go.

Relax.

The word relax in Latin literally means to "let go".

Easier said than done. Here I am at 4 am, doing relaxation exercises dictated to me by some guy on the internet referred to me by my naturopath. He does have a soothing voice.

Another technique I read about is to try to count to 10 without thinking of anything. Each time you let a thought come in, start over again at 1. It's not easy. So I'm trying not to think about the fact that I've been up since 3, or that I need to be at work at 8:30. Or that I have a paper due on Wednesday night that I haven't started yet. Instead, I'm trying to think about the good news - it's actually December 4th, and classes are finished on the 12th. 8 days. And I'm off work soon, supposedly on the 20th, but I think I'll leave on the 18th. That's only 2 weeks from now. Take a full couple of weeks of vacation, turn off my BlackBerry, watch movies, sleep in, paint my nails. I give it 3 days before I'm completely bored.

My job is driving me slightly crazy. I know, I know, I'm so lucky. But accordingly to the relaxating guru I'm listening to, Type A personalities are more successful in life, but they also get 90% of all heart attacks. I did his "Type A" test, and apparently anything over a 50 is "you need to chill out immediately" (my words, not his). I got 282.

It's hardly a surprise though, I knew I had a problem with this already. It's not new, I was never chilled out as a J-dub either. I envy the people who can come in late, leave work early and take an entire lunch break.

It's only in North America that we see this epidemic, in many cultures work/life balance is the norm, not the exception to the rule. And I do think, although many of those cultures have less than us, they are happier. They make more time for friends and family, they have more kids than we do here. My girlfriend said yesterday that teaching wasn't a great profession to get into, because there are less and less kids. Geriatric care on the other hand, you can make some real money there. That's sad.

Well, my boss is no doubt on his way to the airport, heading to the office for a busy week. I'd better try to get another hour of sleep. I've listened to this guy three times now, and I am feeling a bit more relaxed.

It's 5:30 am on a Tuesday. Let the countdown to Christmas holidays begin...