One of my very dear friends lost her best friend last week. I keep thinking we're too young to be losing friends, but apparently that's not the case. Reality kicks in slowly, as the days go by.
I lost one of the best friends I ever had a couple of years ago, way too soon. It's still hard for me, when I want to call her up and tell her something, and then I remember I just can't anymore. Hasn't stopped me from not even deleting her phone number. I keep thinking one of these days, she'll just be back. Maybe that's why I haven't visited her grave yet.
John Bautista was a good guy. He made you feel important, even if he barely knew you. Generous to a fault. He was always around to give you a ride somewhere you needed to go or grab you some un-obtainable concert tickets. That's how Dalyse and I saw Stevie Wonder. And Blue Rodeo. He was gonna get us Ed Sheeran tickets but unfortunately we lost him first. The concert doesn't even seem to matter anymore.
To my friend, he was the best friend. We used to laugh about how we both had a Filipino "husband". Someone who was always there for us. Who supported us. Who loved us no matter what. And they do that despite the fact that romantically, it was never really an option.
We actually talked about all going to the Philippines together next year. They both had a lot of connections there. A week later, that option was off the table because he was gone.
As much as I try to be there for her, I can't imagine what it's like to lose someone so important to you. Growing up for her and I, has been, in our own ways, difficult. I don't think either of us have ever had someone who just loved us so unconditionally and was there, any time of day, night or anywhere in between. Always a phone call away. Always ready with a hug when we need it. Always had our backs.
She's handling it much better than I would. If something happened to Jay...I can't even imagine the pain. I choose to believe he will outlive me and I will never have to deal with that. Dalyse didn't get that chance.
In John's memory, we will cherish our lives. Live it to the fullest. And sleep when we die. :)
Rest in peace, our friend. And Dalyse, I'm here for you. Always. It's not going to go away. There's no replacing him. But it gets better. Not good, but better.
Love, me
Sullivan out.
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