Keep Your Head Up

"I try my best to embrace the darkness" - Ben Howard

I know, I just can't stop with the song lyrics. Song writers just get everything better than we do. At least, they express it better than we do. 

Before you start reading this, I want to let you know this entire post is about my dog. If that doesn't interest you I'd rather not waste your time. 

I know, I used to be more interesting. I used to date. I had a lot of fun stories. Now it's just me and Max. Actually, it's me, a jailbird, two cats and Max. My own bed feels really full. Maybe that's why I started sleeping on the couch. 

Life doesn't always work out the way you think it will. Poor Max was abandoned on New Years Day. His owners (who had actually named him Atlanta - bullshit name right?) asked me to take care of him for a few days and then never responded to emails, texts, phone calls, ever again and moved to Australia. 

I can't make this shit up. 

Max is not the kind of dog I would have chosen for myself. I'm very girl girl and I probably would have picked something small. Something I could put in my purse. Or in the basket on that pretty bike I don't own yet. 

But the Universe works in mysterious ways. I know what it's like to be abandoned by the people you love. I know what it's like to be homeless, to be friendless. And I never do that to anyone else. So he's mine. And he's as perfectly imperfect as I am. 

I have bruises and scratches everywhere because he's a puppy and he doesn't realize he is half as big as me. He loves to just jump up and sit on my lap. (He's way too big to be a lap dog but he doesn't know that yet.)

He also loves to cuddle in bed. He makes me smile every day. When I got him, everyone told me to get rid of him. Now, after some recent disappointments and a very public spiral into depression, all I hear is we're so happy you have the dog. And I am too. 

I never thought I'd be this girl but I don't care about the drool, picking up the poop, I don't care about the smell of the dog in the apartment. All I care about is all this love. When life gets you down, you do have to keep your head up. You do have to embrace the darkness. But it's easier when you have others to do it with. 

Sullivan out.