Hit Me with your Best Shot

It's been an interesting day. On a personal note, I think I'm falling in love with Vienna. (Noooo, he's not gay. And he's a pilot. So shut up.)

On another note, I met someone else who, like him, may or may not end up being important. She's a real writer and while my only purpose in meeting was to pick her brain and maybe get some pointers, as it ends up, she wants to write my story. My first thought was, I want to write my story! But then I realized there's more than enough of my story to go around.

So. Here we are at a crossroads. I've been able to stay at peace with the JWs for so long. As much as I'd like to pretend otherwise, putting my story out there, with my name on it, we all know, will mean war. My dad, as always, was very realistic about the whole thing. To be honest, he was a bit of a buzzkill when I was so excited. But, all of his concerns were valid.

Doesn't matter though, because I've already made up my mind. I love my family, and my old friends. The memories, of meeting Heather, of all my times with Celine, Candace, all of those old friends I've known since I was young, are precious to me. I love my mother and my sister. Did I ever tell you the story of how I met Heather? Erin accidentally smashed the door of our car into her family's van. It left a small red mark. She said she wouldn't tell her parents if I let her wear my mom's lipstick. We were best friends ever since that day. Until about 4 years ago.

In the end, it was them who chose to leave, not the other way around. I did everything I could to make it possible for all of them to find a way back to me. 4 years out though, it is what it is.

And this is my dream!!

I've always wanted to be a writer. Did I think this would be the first story I told? No. But somehow, it is. This is the way it has to be. And I'm sorry to Dad and Mick and everyone else who will be affected if this is somehow published in a glossy Toronto magazine, but this is one of my first baby steps. The first of course, was this blog. The next, will hit a lot more publicly. That's a good thing though. This isn't really about me anymore. When my life fell apart, I looked desperately for someone else who had been through the same experience. And I found stories out there, all contributed by "Anonymous". This, I won't do. If I'm going to tell it, I'll put my name on it. And the address of this blog. And then anyone, anytime, who is desperately searching for answers, or support, will be able to find me.

The JWs will probably hit back. I was way too high profile for them to just let this go. But it's ok. I'm not me 3 years ago, I'm me now. Me now, can handle whatever they decide to throw at me. Disfellowship me again? Bring it on.

Either way, I'm going to tell the story. It's a good story. Of a beautiful life, shattered and re-built. To be better than it was before. That's not a bad thing. It's actually a more-than beautiful life if you think about it, and I'm grateful to still have it.