Goal Setting - Part Deux

I just looked out my window and saw a guy wearing shorts. On March 7. It's been mild in Toronto, but seriously? People always take things too far.

It's been another one of "those weeks" but I'm pretty proud of myself because since my awful panic attack on Monday, I've managed to not actually have any. I mean, I have "almost panic attacks" every day, so my chest hurts a lot but I've been keeping them there and not going into the full blown, I'm hiding in the bathroom yoga breathing stage where I think it might kill me.

You should be proud of me though, because this week involved trying to fit 5 work days into 4 (my little brother is coming to visit tomorrow), one 13 hour work day and a midterm. And Stompin' Tom died. Cut me some slack people!

Also, I'm dealing with the incredible trauma of having my three best friends all in happy relationships at the same time while I am home alone texting and calling people and there's no answer. Even if my brother is the perfect date, I'm feeling a little lonely. I'm happy for them, but I have to admit it was more fun when there was better bandwith for actually spending girl time. In those tiny little pockets when I actually have time for anything.

I went to a seminar tonight by an organization called "Women of Influence". Not that I am one, and if they'd seen what I was up to the other night, trying desperately to sing Taylor Swift in a karaoke bar, they probably wouldn't have let me in, but they don't need to know this stuff.

It was pretty inspiring though. It's funny, there was a lot of talk about Goal Setting. Not too long ago, one of my friends said that they had established some kind of "goal buddy system" at work where you were paired up with someone and you each set a goal and then you would hold each other accountable for accomplishing it.

The speaker tonight was a very accomplished, very smart, very put-together wonder woman and she said that 20 years ago, her and a group of friends established a "goal accountability group". So basically they got together, worked out a system where they set goals for themselves that covered everything: relationships, family, careers, health and wellness, spirituality. They have spreadsheets and everything. And once a month, they hold meetings where they discuss these goals, set shorter-term goals and hold each other accountable for accomplishing them. What a great idea. So if, at the next month's meeting, you haven't done what you were supposed to do, someone will call you out and say, Hey! What happened? What are the roadblocks? What do you need to do to get past them? How can I help? What kind of support do you need to get there?

This sounds so much better than a book club (which I tried to do once but I don't think any of the girls I invited liked to read books as much I do. Maybe they should have put that in their goals.). I usually just keep a list on my fridge and cross things off as I accomplish them, but the moral support aspect coupled with the accountability to deliver must make it a lot more compelling.

Life is not easy. We're adults, (at least I hope anyone who is reading this is, my blog is definitely PG13) all of us have so many responsibilities at this point, it's easy to let real life take over and overshadow the important things, like what we really want to do and who we really want to be. And now I'm going to throw-back to my last "Goal Setting" blog and say that without goals, how do we measure our progress in life and celebrate our success? Goals help us take stock of our accomplishments in a way that we might not even recognize otherwise, and even if we do accomplish great things, we might not realize how hard we had to work to get there and stop for a minute to relish the sweet feeling of success.

The other option is that, without goals, we can stay on autopilot for so long, that we wake up one day and curse the fact that we've just wasted X amount of years not accomplishing anything more than merely surviving day-to-day. So I guess the advice I'd give (if I were in the position to actually give anyone advice) is to keep building your relationship with yourself. Even if what you think you want to do seems unrealistic, there are steps you can take to bring your life closer to that. Baby steps. And one day, if you work really hard at it, you'll achieve success. Not because of your job title, or degree, or how many letters you have after your name. But because you accomplished what you set out to do, are living a life that's honest and free, and you're happy.