It's a Beautiful Day

"Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go." - T.S. Eliot

I took the day off. Planned it about a week ago, but it turned out just perfectly - it's a beautiful, sunny, warm day in Toronto. I have BIG plans for today. Got my teeth cleaned. That's a little strange now that I've become good friends with Lindsay, the dental hygenist. Nothing like a good gossip catch up with your friends hands in your mouth scraping guck off your teeth. Life is so funny sometimes.

I went shopping in Yorkville. Now I'm listening to Taylor Swift, burning candles, getting geared up to take a bubble bath. Also on the agenda: yoga, write a paper for school tonight, clean my apartment. I might not get around to the last one. That's the best thing about living alone, it really doesn't matter all that much if your place is a mess. :)

So I've been a little stuck lately, and am working on turning things around. Unsticking means asking the right questions. So what can I cut out to make life less stressful? It's hard to find the right balance between working hard and not going too far. I saw a naturopath yesterday, as, like a lot of people right now, I've let my stress level get out of hand. Now, I've got crazy high blood pressure to compliment the insomnia and constant panice attacks. She's concerned.

The amount of tasks we juggle between career, education, friends, family, diet, exercise...it's hard to prioritize. Obviously work is a non-negotiable. Perhaps I should find a less stressful job. But I love my job. And it's a fabulous opportunity for growth. So, the hours and the stress are part of that package. On the other hand, I work with some amazing people right now, you don't always find that out there. So we'll stick with the job for now. Just to put it out into the Universe though - corporate is really not my dream. Ideally, I'd like to be a writer with my own flower shop. Yup, a writer/florist (I'm actually quite talented at floral arrangment). I'd also like to have a job someday where I can wear yoga pants and tshirts. But that's for when I grow up.

What about school? I might cut down to one course next term instead of the two I've been taking the last two terms. But whether this takes me a couple of years or a dozen, I believe this is absolutely essential to my growth and future career asperations. (What you've never seen a florist with a degree in Communications? Don't be crazy.)

So I guess I could cut out my social life, which would include my precious Saturdays spent at my restaurant. Not! It's widely acknowledged by doctors that people with good friends live longer. I recently spent 2 years without any, so I'm already gonna die young. Are you trying to kill me?

So where do we land on this? My new doctor has suggested some diet changes, some supplements, a guided meditation program that I can do when I'm pacing around in the middle of the night that will apparently calm me down and lead me back into some kind of spirituality. Sounds good to me. All I need to do is lower my stress and get back to being healthy so I can handle the chaos. The chaotic life is not the problem here, the problem is how I've been handling it. And allowing it to completely stress me out. According to Jersey Shore, stress kills so I need to be smart here.

Shakespeare said there's a destiny that shapes our ends, rough hew them how we may. So if we're brave and honest and hardworking, destiny and the Universe will guide us to where we need to go. I truly believe that. So I'm not worried.

In the meantime, I scored a $55 bottle of bubble bath today. Not being a princess or a rock star, I've never had one of those. Got it on sale at Anthropologie for $10. It smells like heaven. And I like my baths scalding hot. So I gotta go. I hope everyone I love out there is having a fabulous day. How could you not? It's beautiful out there.