As I stepped on the ice, my best friend reached for my hand and as he's done over and over again in the past 9 months, he held on and supported me until I felt a little bit more grounded. Once I got the hang of it, and started to feel slightly stable, he let go and made me do it on my own.
This is the thing I love most about him. The best person to have in your life as your best friend is someone who doesn't leave you feeling helpless, but also doesn't enable you to stay scared. Over and over again, he's held my hand while I cried, showed up when I needed support or company, but walks away when he thinks I need a little push to believe in doing something for myself.
By the end of the first hour, I had completely regained my confidence. He was always close enough to reach out for, but far away enough to make me feel I was doing it on my own.
There are so many times I thought of leaving Toronto, it can be lonely to be so far away from most of your family. But I've realized we can make family, right where we are, if we find the right people to build one with.
His family has taken me in and it almost seems they love me as one of theirs. It was so nice to skate around the rink and chat with his mom and dad, or play games with his eight year old daughter. They are truly very special people with open hearts and enough love to go around to embrace someone new.
In the summer when I first showed up with him, they would invite me to the yacht club or we would take Temperance on a picnic or go swimming at the pool. Then I was included at Thankgiving and Christmas.
Being invited for Sunday night dinner is my favorite, playing games with Temperance until it's time to eat, sitting around the table like a normal family, talking and laughing. Being silly, playing Barbies or sports, making ice cream sundays and hot chocolate with marshmellows, a lot of these things I haven't done in years. But I remember how it feels, and it feels just like home.
Even when they went on vacation over Christmas, just after I had had a rough spell, they would call and email and remind me that they were still with me, even though they weren't here. They sent the love and hugs I get everytime I'm with them over the distance and I know that I'm definitely not alone in Toronto with a family like this so close to where I live now.
Before dinner tonight, Temperance put her arms around me and asked if I'd come to her birthday party. They are like family now, and I'm so grateful I found them. But even more grateful they took me in, looked past my past and found a way to love me for who I am.
I am very happy. :)
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