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So I've had 1,315 visits since I started this blog. Probably not a lot compared to people with actual important things to say about life, but it's humbling nonetheless that so many people would actually read about the trivial things that happen in my day-to-day life.

Canada definitely is leading the pack here, but a huge shout out to whoever is reading in the United States, Russia, Germany, Chile, Ukraine, Latvia, Japan, South Korea and Indonesia. Besides Jonathan in the US, I don't even know anyone who lives in any of those countries! :)

Writing has always been a passion for me, and this blog has almost been life saving in some ways, just being able to talk when I need to, to get out how I feel on the inside is some kind of release for me, I always feel so much better.

When I was in love, once upon a time, being able to write to Him was the best feeling in the world. Now, I know there is a lot of darkness in me, but I'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel and I feel more optimistic all the time.

One thing that has changed my life, besides writing, is the people I've grown close to since my life fell apart. I can't say enough good about them. One of the positive things about going through a major life crisis is seeing all the people who will step up and help you out.

I felt so much stress all through life to be perfect. I tried as hard as I could, and of course, I failed. Like everyone in the world, I just want to be loved, and the funny thing is, trying to be perfect doesn't necessarily make people love you. I tried to be the perfect wife, girlfriend, friend, daughter, sister...but most of the people who knew me at my best just walked away when I needed them the most.

The people who have stuck with me, through the past three years have been the ones who have seen me at my worst. Somehow, they feel i'm worthy to be loved anyway. So I've realized something. I was already enough back then, and I am already enough now, just the way I am. To be able to find friendship, loyalty and love when I have nothing valuable to give shows me the problem was never me, it was the people I choose to love, and to put all my hope and trust into. They were the ones who didn't really know how to love someone, not me.

So I beg you - whoever is reading this - look around at your life. Are the people in it supportive? Do they really see, understand and accept you for who you are? If you are going through the motions without any real sense of purpose or happiness, you don't have to be afraid to make changes. It's a big world out there, and there are wonderful, fabulous people in it. People who will be there for you if you try to find something better.

If your life is great the way it is, I'm so happy for you. But if you're unhappy, please, don't be scared to make a change. I did, and it was the hardest thing I've ever done. But I'm still young. Knock on wood, I've got another 40 or 50 years to get through. Now I know though that I've living honestly, happily, and I honestly don't worry about being alone. One of the more interesting aspects of leaving my life behind and moving on is the people who showed up in it again. I have four girlfriends who were some of the people I'd been friends with the longest, the closest, who have all decided to leave our past life too and have come back into mine. It's been a crazy fucking reunion, one I never saw coming with these people I've always loved. Life is nothing if not full of surprises. :)

Thanks again for reading. We'll talk again soon. :)