The Four Month Milestone

I went to hot yoga tonight with my fabulous friend Liz. Feeling really good afterwards and looking forward to a bubble bath and a glass of red wine, I noticed my phone was flashing. There was a text from my boyfriend that said simply and sweetly "Happy 4 month milestone :)".

Oops. Do I live in a world now where boyfriends remember the anniversary of your first date when you completely forgot? Truth be told, I almost feel sorry for him and the past four months he's survived. I think I've tried to break up with him about 10 times, but if I was being completely honest, the number is probably closer to a dozen. Seriously, Steve, you are a sonuvabitch for sticking with me and all my shit for four months straight. (Sidepoint, no offence, but your mom is kind of a bitch.) But that's ok. Because you are still a good son, and an even better boyfriend. I mean, hey, we both got coffee tables for Christmas, but mine was nicer than your moms. :)

At the end of the day, I can't say with any honesty that I've been the best, most fabulous version of myself since September. I've been awful. And probably more than anyone else, my boyfriend has suffered from that the most. But he refuses to walk away. He stays, he supports, he listens. He's kind and smart and generous and loves to cuddle. He buys roses by the TWO dozen!

I've pushed myself outside of all kinds of comfort zones embracing his love for zombies (The Walking Dead), kill tables (Dexter) and just the plain fact that dating someone with a better wardrobe than me is a little bit embarrassing.

We're both foodies and Friday nights at "the bbq joint" has become one of my favorite times of the week. He loves to give, the first time he ever met Liz was at her birthday party, and he brought a very expensive gift. Not to impress me, but just because he felt strongly if someone invites you to their birthday, that was special and they should get something nice.

He stocks his apartment on the weekends with food and drinks I like so when I come over, I feel at home. He puts up with my moods, the coffee, the smoking, the suicide attempt. (Which I am almost ready to talk about, by the way.) We double date with lesbians all the time and he loves my friends almost as much as I do. He accepts people for who they are, but he's also secretly hoping they'll accept him back...

I can't believe it's been four months. And he's still around. And that I'm actually really happy about that. I hope in the next four months I'll be a better girlfriend. I think I will be, with some of the situations from my past life put to rest.

When all is said and done, any relationship is a gamble. And I'm scared to ever really care about anyone, ever again. But that's not His fault. And in some ways, it's not even my fault.

Yay us, for lasting four months. It may not seem like much, but it's the best I've done in three years. So that's something to be proud of :)