So this is morbid, I'm meeting with my lawyer tomorrow, gonna sign some papers. I don't have much, but I have a big life insurance policy. So I've got my two best friends signed up to take care of things, should anything happen. Beside my viking funeral it's pretty straightforward stuff. Use the money to send the kids to university and Jay can finally open his own bar. Statistically it's a terrible investment but in this hypothetical circumstance I'm dead so what do I care?
He's so perfect, I want him to have anything he wants. He's not actually perfect, none of us are. But perfect for me. I spent so long looking for anyone who would just love me exactly as I am. And I found those people in the perfectly imperfect world I want to live in. My best friend is a lesbian. My boyfriend is, in the words of the only other most important man in my life, my dad, "just a waiter". Yah Daddy, a waiter with way more education than you will ever have. Not his fault he hates the 9-5. I do too now.
I had a bad weekend so I decided to change my name. It's been a long time coming. Jay comes home from work and he says what did you do today? I said I changed my name. And he's like, okay crazy girl. Then this morning he said, you went to bed late. What were you doing? Well I'm actually working on the second book, but I said I was doing research, which I was. I'm going to be done my MBA soon so I had to figure out what to study next. Did you figure it out? Yup, I'm going to be a witch. Well, that's great that you'll be putting that MBA to good use. Whatever makes you happy love.
Lizzie thinks being a witch is a great career path. Watch out Watchtower, I'm coming for you. :) So I get to work at 8 am and spent hours setting up shop and arranging flowers and serving customers. My boss gets in sometime around lunch, he looks at me and he's like, you're a writer. I asked him what would make him think that? He said you don't sleep. And I know you have a million things happening in your head all at once. And you talk to yourself, you're writing in your head all the time.
He's right. A million dreams are keeping me awake. I might seem a little all over the place. I quit corporate and I work for minimum wage in a flower shop which is the best job I've ever had. But I'm doing my MBA and probably going back to the suit in the next week or so. I wanna be a witch. I feel like I have so much life to fit into half the time because I wasted too many years in a cult.
Jay gets that about me. He just knows. The other night he was like wanna watch a movie? I said sure. He was no you don't you're in your zone, here's your laptop. Go write.
And that's Margaux 2.0. (Well my name's not Margaux anymore but that's another story.) I get to do exactly what I want because I'm free. I prided myself on being alone for so many years. I'd see my family once a year put on a fake smile. Smile is real now. It's the people. The friends, the kids, the babies, the animals. I don't know how the unluckiest girl in the world landed on her feet, but I did, thanks to them. My nana used to say it didn't matter what mistakes people make or what we have to go through, as long as we land on our feet.
So as I sign off on my last will and testament tomorrow, I'll know that at least I've lived free and god willing, died hard. :)
Fox out.
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