It's the making it last part that I suck at. Romantically at least...I seem to have no problem staying awesome friends with all my ex's. Seriously, I still meet up with them for lunch or coffee or drinks, get together at Christmas, sometimes they'll send me pictures of their new baby.
I have however dated a LOT. And have a handful of girlfriends who tell me everything about their experiences. I've talked to men, to women, to gay and lesbian friends and there are some fundamental things you should know about the woman in your life. I'm just going to share what I've heard.
1. Don't lie to us. Women in their 30s have seen enough bullshit to be able to identify it. But we are still romantics. I happened to meet three Irishes in a row. One of them said on our first date: "I'd love to take you to Ireland with me." I knew it was a lie but...swoon. Another one asked if he could see me again and when I asked when? He said tomorrow, the next day, every day. He never even called me again. So guys, you don't have to be so over the top. If we like you, we'll probably see you again without all the grandiose claims. Just tone it down a notch.
2. If we do end up sleeping with you at some point, please call the next day. Not for a big conversation, just say "Hey, I had a lovely time. I would love to see you again." It would literally take you five minutes. Text messages just don't have the same impact. And I mean, we did sleep with you after all.
3. Get over yourself. If you feel the need to tell us on the first or second date that you're "not looking for anything serious" that translates in our minds to: "I'd love to sleep with you and never call you again." And then we'll walk away. Who says we're looking for something serious? We've known you for five minutes. Give us a little more credit than just being some girl who wants to tie you up and drag you down the aisle. A lot of us don't even care about getting married and having kids anymore. Life has changed.
4. Sometimes we just want you to listen. You don't have to fix us. We can fix ourselves and we know how to do it. We have our girlfriends, our therapists, our careers, our interests and hobbies. But if we've had a bad day, we might just need to talk it out. If you can listen without saying "um hmm" while looking at the tv or computer or iphone, bonus points to you. If you can give us a hug, even better. :)
I can't speak for all girls, but having been the girl whose boyfriends buy her fancy dinners, chic hotel rooms, Tiffany jewelry, expensive perfume, pretty shoes...one guy even made me furniture...I can say all of those things are greatly appreciated. But we'd give them all up for someone who makes us laugh, who appreciates our intelligence, who gives us a hug when we're having a bad day.
A lobster dinner never hurts though - just FYI. :)
Sullivan out.
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