Blackbird Rising

Phone rings.

Her: Am I interrupting your yoga class?

Me: You know I didn't go to yoga. Bitch.

Her: Well I didn't go to the gym either.

We both sigh.

Me: I did watch Game of Thrones. Twice. It was too good to just watch once. I might watch it again.

And this is the delicate line we walk, always trying to be perfect, never quite succeeding.

As long as we don't take it TOO seriously, it's ok. That striving for perfection, however out of our reach it may be, makes us better people. It makes us people who are willing to take chances on the long shot. People who are willing to put ourselves out there for other people, whether or not we're successful in making them happy, in helping them. People who know how to be honest. There's too few of those people in the world, maybe because we know it's not the safe path.

Is the safe path making you feel fulfilled and happy though? If it is - that's amazing. If it's not? Why not take some chances?

The past week for me has been at the same time exciting, wonderful, terrifying and stressful. Right now, after all of that, I feel more naked and exposed than I ever have. I've received an outpouring of support from strangers. I've also never felt more at peace with the decisions I've made or stronger for having done these things.

Maybe "naked and exposed" aren't all that bad. Hey, when Daenerys did it with the dragons that was a hot mess. (If you don't watch Game of Thrones, you won't get that. And I pity you.)

Someone at work today came up and said she read my article, checked out my blog and thought I was a fantastic writer. She said maybe I could work on some Communications pieces for an upcoming project on her team.

I went down to the bar last night with a friend for a drink and his new lady-love came by. She wanted to read the article so I went upstairs to fetch it for her. She sat at the bar and read it...and started crying. A lot. I didn't really know what to do, it's my story and I'm not crying anymore. So I gave her a hug and tried to convince her that I am fine.

It's funny, the few people who know the real story think the article was pretty tame. Not dramatic or too honest at all. The ones who've never heard the story? They cry. Or worry about me.

I have to be honest, I kinda liked it that she cried. Not because she was hurting, I hated that part, but because it just reminded me of the incredible amount of compassion and love someone can have towards a perfect stranger.

That's the life I live in now. One of understanding, of feeling, of unconditional love. Things are good right now, better than I ever thought they could be.

Blackbird is rising from the ashes. Watch out!