Sex and the City

So I never realized this before, but life really is a lot like SATC.

Here we are Ladies, in our 30s. My girlfriends are all successful, intelligent, (did I mention beautiful?), kind, FUN.

We have interests, talents, abilities. We do not have to compete with the 22 years olds in short skirts. We can still pull off a pretty mean short skirt ourselves. And we have the confidence which comes with experience and feeling good in our own skin.

So why are we still putting all our self-worth into how we are treated by men? We live (gratefully) in an age where we literally don't need them. Not to say a nice boyfriend wouldn't be great. Love is the greatest thing in the world. But putting up with bad behaviour just for the chance that some guy is gonna change and appreciate us for who we are?

Not to say I am any better than anyone else out there. A couple of my recent blog postings were about the Scorpions who managed to hurt me. Obviously I still think about them, it still affects me.

But we're just as good as them now. Our jobs are equivalent (or almost), we have nice apartments, we can COOK. And the best kept secret? We hold ALL the power.

A man can walk into a bar, and put up his hand and say "Who wants to go home with me?" Nine times out of ten, no response. A woman on the other hand, will get a different reaction. The problem is, we don't recognize that we're actually in control. So we try too hard, make too many allowances, to make them like us. We don't have to. A good guy will be willing to work for you, to show up on time, (or at all), to wait for you to trust he is sincere.

One of my girlfriends spent our last few conversations crying about the guy she's dating. I don't blame her, if I put that much time and energy into someone who turned out to be such a loser, I'd cry too. I have cried, not that long ago, and one of my girlfriends spent that night, holding my hand saying he wasn't worth it. That's what friends do. Another good friend is still constantly thinking about THE question: why was her ex such an a*hole, when she was so good to him? Sometimes we just need to accept there is no answer, we will never get that closure we so desperately want to be able to understand what went wrong. Maybe the only answer is, because he is an asshole!

I just feel that all of us have spent way too much time lately mourning these guys who are JUST NOT WORTH IT. So let's make a decision to be strong, be alone (together), and wait for the one who is worth your time, energy, all the cute, thoughtful things you will do for him, your love and the *very* occasional tears. If we do it together, maybe we can change things.

In the meantime, it's Thanksgiving this weekend, so we will all eat my fabulous turkey, drink wine and talk about something other than the boys.

Please read me: You complete me...?