November Rain

Ok, not quite November yet. But just a few days away.

Anyone remember how beautiful it was on Friday? Since then, not so much. We seem to be experiencing the effects of the Hurricane. It never really stops raining.

Personally, I don't mind the rain all that much. I find it romantic. I remember one night when it was pouring and I actually convinced Travis to go for a walk with me. No umbrellas. We got soaked. Not sure that he ever really appreciated that carefree, crazy side of me, but he used to put up with it at least.

Another time, as I was saying goodbye to Adam for the millionth time, it started to rain just as we kissed. We stood there laughing instead of running for shelter.

And then there was that one night in the Bahamas, when it was literally a downpour, and the square was completely flooded and it all just turned into a crazy dance party. I'm pretty sure Chris lost his shoes that night.

It seems official. The optomist is back. These memories make me smile *big smile*, not cry. A manicure helps (a lot actually), as does finally starting to feel a little better and of course, not listening to quite as much City and Colour. Going a little bit stir crazy from studying all the time. Monique texted me tonight, she's experiencing the same thing. It's almost comic, a couple of 30-something ex-dubs trying to work full-time at demanding corporate jobs and go to school at night and write papers in our spare time.

Summer was fun, but since then, I've pretty much become...boring. All I do is go to work, go to school, study. Have the odd Dexter/Walking Dead catch-up with pizza night.

As stressful as it's been though, no panic attacks. I think that's the result of my wise decision to stop dating. (I have exceptional insight. I'd use it on myself, only I don't have any problems. Ha ha.) Not that the guys haven't been for the most part awesome. But there always is that one, once in awhile, who shakes you up and makes you feel bad about yourself. Those ones can come back, even months later and with a few nasty messages tear you apart all over again.

Ugh, my girlfriend is currently in her ex's apartment building contemplating knocking on his door. And I have 3 more chapters to go before I'm ready for school tomorrow night. I have to go. But take a few minutes tonight and watch the rain. As melancholy as it is, it's one of my favorite things. :)