Welcome to my life. Both my therapists (yes I have two) tell me to stay away from my family. I understand why. Two suicide attempts. My immediate family has been my downfall.
After two years of nothing really I came home today and had a package in my mailbox. It was from my dad, a Christmas present. I tell myself I don't need anyone because that's how life turned out. I made a wrong turn once or twice. Some bad decisions.
Overall I think I was the one who was there anytime anyone needed anything. I did the best I could. And I was the one who was punished. I kept my siblings alive. Now what are we? No siblings. Do I even have a mother? I don't think so.
But John, my dad, was the love of my life. And I know I'm his. When he looks into our same eyes he knows like I do that we have an unbreakable connection. I wish I could have had a child and passed the eyes on. It's more than that though. We are the same in so many ways. Am I scared to try again? I'd be insane not to. But he made a gesture.
He spends so much of his life like I do, helping others. However this works out John will always be a hero to me. So I guess...here we go again....whatever happens boys out there just know daddy will always be my love, the most handsome man in the world. And you'll have to fill some really big shoes to take his place.
Sullivan out.
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