The Sunshine of Happiness

Yet another gray, dreary day in Toronto. I think we've seen way too many of these, because everyone seems to have seasonal affective disorder (SAD). It's hard to be happy when you never see the sun shine.

It's been an important week for me. Although I've always kept a diary, I don't anymore since I started writing this blog, so I need to document it for the sake of preservation. You know how they say that everything that happens to us, good or bad, can actually be good if we see the silver lining? It's true.

It was reading week at school, so no classes. I took that and ran with it. It was a stressful week at work (aren't they all?) but Tuesday I went to see Die Hard with 27. Wednesday I went out with my restaurant friends, invented a new drinking game and danced in Jay's living room with Linnea. Thursday Krista and I went to the downstairs bar. Friday I went to my good friend's place, ordered pizza and watched a movie. I haven't done that in ages. Saturday I spent the day wedding dress shopping with my cousin. By Saturday night, I needed to stay home, recouperate and catch up on The Walking Dead. Despite daily panic attacks, it was a good week.

Work is important, yes. But the relationships that define us, the people who give us hugs, that's important too. And this week I was able to balance both. This morning I applied for a job as an editor at a magazine (don't tell KPMG). I won't get it, but it was very empowering to step outside the box for a minute and try something different.

Today, I have to write a paper for school. Clean my apartment. Get life back on track after a week of way too much fun. But that's ok because who wants to go outside today anyway? And tonight is the Oscars. I love the Oscars and I'm happy they always happen right around my birthday. I'm going to Liz's place to finally check out her new giant tv.

Happiness cannot really be measured in any calculated way. All of us spend time in euphoria, in the valley of despair and in between the two. What matters most is not beating ourselves up over never being perfectly happy. We can't. That's not the way life is designed and to expect that is just setting ourselves up for failure.

But we can be happy enough, and muddle through the gray days until the sunshine of happiness shines again. And it always does. Yippee Ki-Yay!