Mad Men

Break-ups, especially Divorce (sorry, I have to capitalize it for some reason) usually give women a welcome excuse to indulge a little (or a lot) in something we all do from time to time (be honest!) - complaining about men.

They're insensitive, or they don't get us, or they never want to talk about "feelings", or they just want to give solutions, not really hear our problems...this is how many women feel. Personally though, despite getting Divorced, I feel this entire process has made me appreciate men MORE than I ever have before.

Truth be told, there is The Asshole who started all this. He's mean and he lies, and he's a huge part of the reason I feel like I need to wrap myself up in bubble wrap and stick on a label that says "Fragile" before leaving the house most days. (NOT talking about my ex-husband. He's a good person and I love him a lot.) But besides that guy, I've been really lucky.

Not to discount the women in my life who have been fiercely loyal - Viv, Kyla, "Mama", Tara, Jen, Noelle, Katie, Grandma, Liz...the list goes on...

But one of my best friends showed up last night, with pizza and red wine, which he picked out because the store didn't have any of my favorites and this one had a happy pink label, and it made me think. My whole life I've put so much emphasis on girlfriends. And they are great to have. But when the chips are down, and I've stood on the precipice of completely losing myself trying to deal with all this loss, more often than not, it's been a man who grabbed me and pulled me back.

And they are sensitive. They do get us. They talk about feelings. They can listen empathetically without just giving you a solution.

Over the past couple of years, the men in my life have spent literally hundreds of hours listening to me talk about my feelings. They've stood by my side when I was alone and held my hand when I cried. They've lived with me, loaned me money, been my date for important events when I didn't have one, given me honest advice when I was getting derailed and needed to be readjusted, hugged me, sat with me without talking, put up with me when I wasn't me at all, let me sleep on their couches, brought me food when I was sick, remembered my birthday, cheered me up when I was sad.

In Jerry Maguire (best movie ever by the way) she says "Maybe men are the enemy. But I still love the enemy."

So yes, I'm getting Divorced. But I don't believe men are the enemy. I think they are trying just as hard as we are, sometimes harder. I think men are great, just the way they are. :)