I can't sleep. This virus is messing with my head. All my friends are kinda depressed. Everyone has lost their jobs, including my boyfriend. You try to stay positive but life has changed so much. You can't go to work, you can't shop, you can't travel, you can't go to a restaurant. Suddenly, you are quarantined in your apartment with your partner, your dog and your cat. You miss your friends, you miss their babies.
But there's really nothing else you can do right now if you want to stay alive. I know I'm one of the lucky ones. I have a place to live and I don't have to live alone. I've had so many health issues my friends are afraid to see me because they might make me sick and I get it. I'm afraid of that too.
I've never missed my dad and my grandma so much. It's like the choice to see them is taken away and you realize you should have gone home more.
Every day, unless I have a zoom meeting at work, there's no reason to get out of your pjs. I think I wore the same tshirt three days in a row this week. Your doctors and therapists only do phone meetings which is fine with me. I thought I hated leaving the apartment until I couldn't.
That's not what bothers me though. My best friend "on the outside" died a few years ago. It was hard for me, harder for her. At least I got to be there on her last night and kiss her goodbye. These days we don't know. Maybe I wouldn't get the chance to be there for someone else like I was for her. So y'all stay safe and alive for me okay? Cause I can't lose anyone else.
In the meantime, all we can do is get up every day and try. My dad is such an advocate for being positive and looking on the bright side.
Suck it up buttercup. Better days are ahead.
Sullivan out.
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