Pull & Push

My last blog about what happened in Orlando was very serious and despite the hate that has raised up, despite the friends and allies who have come forward with their support, there's really nothing that makes it make any sense. Bottom line, the world has to change. I can't do that though.

What I can do is be a little less serious for once and tell you a story. :)

Me to my girlfriend: If I write a blog about how my dog and I are essentially the same person, will people think I'm crazy?

Her: Definitely yes. Send it to me first.

Not gonna happen Lindsay. Max and I are both outcasts. Orphans. A little bit clumsy, a little bit too trusting, a little bit too attention deprived. A little bit too dramatic. (Dramatic is the right word, right Lindsay?) A little bit too cute. :)

He's so sweet and such a lover. He never barks (except at me), is never aggressive and loves everyone - cats, dogs, people.

Last night he got hit by a car. Totally my fault and I haven't been able to stop crying over it yet. I didn't have him on a leash. I always brag to people that my dog doesn't need to be on a leash, because he's so good. And he is. But he's a dog. Some kids were driving way too fast and boom! they hit him. I was running into the street after him, I guess it's a good thing I'm not fast enough because then I'd be in the hospital too.

$800 later, he is okay. Bruised and bloodied but okay. He's bandaged up and wearing the cone of shame but it could have been much, much worse. It's probably a good thing I never had those kids I wanted because if I can't even keep a dog safe, I'm sure I would be an unfit parent.

He does this thing where he comes up and growls in my face. Then he barks at me. Then he gives me a kiss. I do the same thing with people. I love someone, so I push them away. I'm always scared of getting hurt again. I'm working on that.

The pull and push is a balance I'm still working out. I'm kinda sorta maybe seeing someone now and I have to remind myself all the time to just take it one day at a time. The push doesn't work out well for either person. The pull needs to be gradual. Organic.

Max is right to be a little bit untrusting of the world. It's not always a safe place. But in all his bad luck and mine, we are both so lucky to have people who love us, take care of us and keep us safe.

Clap your hands if you believe in fairies! Max could use some positive energy from y'all right now. :)

Sullivan out.