Ok. Trying to do laundry and clean my apartment while hungover is a pretty regular Saturday morning occurrence. But never, in a million years, did I think I'd be frantically cleaning and grocery shopping and and putting out flowers and getting everything ready for the houseguest who is about to walk through my door.
Monique was, until I met Travis, my best friend. We met when we were kids. Did all the sleepover stuff. The travelling stuff. Then we lived together on and off for about 7 years. We decorated apartments. We drank coffee together in the morning and wine at night. We wanted to date the same guys. We saw each other through hard times with work, with friends, with boyfriends, with family. We were bridesmaids in each others weddings. We were the best of friends, and the worst of friends because we were so different from each other, we each possessed everything the other one lacked. And that made us insecure (like girls in their 20s need anymore reasons to be insecure).
Eventually, something went wrong. I can't blame it entirely on the JWs, this happened so much earlier than the demise of that life. I don't even know what happened. Misunderstandings? Which we never talked about. But I felt hurt and betrayed, and for the next seven years, I never ran into Monique without feeling like I slightly hated her.
But life/the universe has a way of suprising you. I can't even put into words how interesting the past few years have been, the past couple of weeks in particular. I can't believe, looking back, that I almost gave up on life. Twice. The Universe and I haven't always seen eye to eye, but life has certainly never been dull.
So I didn't give up on life, and I've learned my lesson now to never give up on people. Sometimes, for so many different reasons, people will leave you. It doesn't mean they don't love you. I think sometimes people leave because they love you too much and honestly just don't know what to do.
And yes, it hurts like hell, I get that. But in the end, being alone can and will make you stronger if you let it. And if you're very lucky, the ones you really love will always come back. I'm still waiting on a couple of more key people to find a way back to me. I miss them, especially The One, (and she knows who she is) but right now I have all the patience in the world and all the faith that they'll find their way. Then, at that point, it's just up to us to decide if we will open our hearts and let them back in.
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