6 years and one day ago, I told Big I loved him. I gave up my entire life for him. I believed him when he said he'd get divorced. I believed him when he said we'd get married and have beautiful strawberry blonde children.
When I knew I couldn't trust him, I deleted his phone number and wrote it on a sticky note behind the piece of art he gave me. Of course, it was a bird. Y'all know I've been having a hard time lately, but birds always make me feel better. :)
I caved and decided to message him today. I turned the piece around and the note was gone. Where did it go? Seriously. How can it just be gone? I guess the same way he could be gone. No explanation.
I had lunch with a dear friend yesterday and she said she hoped I would stop being sad and get to the point where I felt angry. And now I do. I feel angry that I was raised in a cult. I feel angry that I was manipulated by a man I actually loved. I feel angry that things didn't work out the way I had hoped they would.
And I feel grateful that things didn't work out the way I hoped they would. That would have been the biggest tragedy :)